


An Almost Patient Heart

by ElfrootAndEezo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angry Temari, Canon Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Elders, Engagement, F/M, Family, Love, Maternal Instinct, Missions, Shinobi, Starting Families, sand siblings - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElfrootAndEezo/pseuds/ElfrootAndEezo
Summary: Engagements aren't easy when your village elders don't approve and your brothers won't let you solve it in bloodshed.Temari just wants Shikamaru and the right to her own choices.
Relationships: Akimichi Chouji & Nara Shikamaru & Yamanaka Ino, Gaara & Kankurou & Temari, Gaara & Temari (Naruto), Kankurou & Temari (Naruto), Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Comments: 21
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I began as a one-shot but naturally, it evolved.

Temari liked to think she was a patient and generous person, and sure, not everyone agreed but she was adamant. She was patient. The fact the Council still lived was a testament to that. She listened to them ramble about her and her brothers mostly without interruption. And they still lived! 

She slammed her way through the Kazekage’s home as her two brothers trailed behind her. The elders had spent most of her life trying to dictate how she lived her life, how she looked and where she went. And so, she’d spent most of her life snarling back at them until she got her way. And before them, Rasa had been a cruel and controlling father to each of his children and once he was gone she’d decided she was never going to submit again. Her life was her own. 

Gaara and Kankurou had practically dragged her from the meeting following the elders’ audacity to tell her no. No to choosing her own path. No to Shikamaru. No to their future. Her rage had been white-hot and blinding as they broke down her relationship into pros and cons as though her feelings meant nothing. It was the type of all-consuming rage that left you feeling like you were going to hurl your guts up and itching for a fight all at once.

They were lucky Gaara had ordered her to leave her fan behind. 

“It’s laughable they think they have a say in this,” Temari growled as she stomped across the room. Her brothers followed, carefully quiet. 

“I’m not sure what you expected,” Kankurou shrugged. “They were never going to let their Princess run off with a Konoha shinobi.”

“They’re not going to  _ let _ me do anything.” She said. “I’ll be marrying Shikamaru whether they allow it or not.”

“There’s plenty of lazy Suna shinobi,” Kankurou waved his hand vaguely in the direction of the window. “Couldn’t have saved us all the trouble and fallen for one of them?”

“Do you really love him Temari?” Gaara spoke up and shifted toward his two elder siblings.

Temari turned awkwardly in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her warmed cheeks. “Of course. I’m not fighting the elders for the fun of it.”

“Of course not,” Kankurou rolled his eyes. He continued to mutter unintelligibly, much to her annoyance. 

“I can’t say I understand it, but as your Kazekage and as your brother I support you. If Shikamaru will make you happy, then leave the council to me.” Gaara said, voice as deep and commanding as ever. “Just, be patient.”

Kankurou snorted at that and ducked instinctively before Temari had even stretched out her arm to smack him upside the head. Ignoring the pest she nodded at her youngest brother, she could be patient. 

She could be patient, she just didn’t always choose to be. 

***

She arrived at the village with a storm on her tail. The air was thick and almost buzzing as the dark clouds followed behind her. Thunderstorms with the promise of rain were rare in Suna but in Konoha, she’d learnt to love them. 

Shikamaru waited by the gate, tucked away under the cover of the small shelter Izumo and Kotetsu were usually found. She was relieved to see unrecognisable faces sitting behind the desk for once. Those two had become far too comfortable teasing her and she wasn’t sure she had it in her to take their jokes lightly after the week before meeting with the elders. 

Temari walked past the shelter, nodding her head for Shikamaru to follow. He sighed and mumbled one of his favourite words under his breath before jogging to catch up with her, umbrella in hand.

They walked wordlessly toward the Nara compound, just enjoying the comfort of each others presence. She probably should have swung by the Hokage tower to report herself to Lord Sixth but didn’t. If Shikamaru was with her, she reasoned, the Hokage had probably already shirked his duties and disappeared for the day. How such a lazy ninja became Hokage with an even lazier advisor was beyond her. And it worked, somehow. Konoha was blooming.

She probably should have swung by the apartment she kept too, for appearances. And yet she didn’t. If anyone had anything to say about her sleeping arrangements they could schedule a meeting with her fan. Or Kamatari. 

Shikamaru’s hand slid into her own as they left behind the bustling central streets of Konoha. Her fingers squeezed,  _ I’ve missed you.  _

The Nara compound was amongst the forest, much to her eternal and secret delight. It was secluded, peaceful and welcoming. Much more so than the desert despite her love for it. 

They entered his home together, and Shikamaru moved to take her fan from her back. Just him, no one else was allowed to touch it. No one else held the power to unarm her. 

He set the fan against the wall and shuffled toward her, looking both bored and thrilled in a way that shouldn’t be possible. 

“Your mother home any time soon?” Temari asked as Shikamaru snaked his arms around her waist. They hadn’t seen each other since his visit to Suna three weeks before. She had plans.

Choosing not to answer her question he instead began trailing gentle kisses along her neck. Obviously, he had plans too. 

Temari nudged him back, kissing him as she steered him toward the sofa. He stepped back until he couldn’t any further and she gave a final push so that he fell to sit and climbed into his lap. 

She pulled back from the kiss to look at him, fixing her eyes on his own dark eyes and the small smirk toying at his lips. Temari rolled her hips as she laced her arms around his neck, unable to hold back her smile as he breathed out a surprised moan. There was a certain joy in catching such a strategist by surprise.

Her joy was short-lived, as the sound of someone pounding on the door echoed throughout the Nara home. They both stilled, hopeful that their disturber could be willed away. 

“I know you’re in there,” Ino’s voice rang in a way that Temari was quite sure defied the physics of sound waves. 

Temari untangled herself from Shikamaru’s body and fell beside him as soft footsteps followed the sound of the front door closing. 

“You, Mum, Ino,” Shikamaru mumbled as he turned his head toward the ceiling. “Always a troublesome woman eager to interfere.”

Temari rolled her eyes and swatted her hand in his direction. “Please, tell me how I’ve interfered.”

“I had plans to find an uncomplicated woman and live an easy and simple life before you came along.” 

“Oh?” She said flatly. “If you prefer I can leave.”

“That’s not what I said,” Shikamaru nuzzled his face into her shoulder, and wound his arm around her. 

“Why do you put up with him?” Ino stood in the doorway, arms crossed and expression amused. “You could do better.”

“Thanks for your support.” He removed his face from Temari’s shoulder just enough to blink one eye in the direction of his teammate. “Why are you here anyway?”

Ino rolled her eyes and huffed dramatically before fixing her grin on Temari. “I came to find out if you were allowed to get married yet,” Ino said as she winked at the pair. “And share some other juicy information.”

“You’re not meant to know that,” Shikamaru frowned. 

“Please,” Ino grinned. “I’m a Yamanaka, I hear everything.” A pause. “Also, your mother told me.”

Temari turned her gaze to the man beside her who looked beyond done with the conversation. She grinned at the sight, always happy to see him be stirred beyond indifference. Waiting for alone time was okay when she’d get to enjoy the look of his furrowed brows and annoyed frown. She loved him of course, but sometimes it was fun to watch him suffer. Just a little. 

“That depends on who you ask.” Temari gave a toothy grin, nudging Shikamaru to sit up a little. He huffed lightly and held his head up for all of two seconds before sinking into her side again.

“Courting a princess,” He said under his breath, “What a drag.”

“So you’ve still got the opportunity to run?” Ino grinned at her. Temari had grown to enjoy the company of the people of Konoha. Most of them. They were kinder than anyone had been to her in her childhood. Suna had changed for the better under Gaara’s watchful eyes and the hard work she and her brothers had put in to undo her father's mistakes. Still, after her brothers, the people of Konoha were her first friends.

“Mmm,” She hummed. “Know anyone single?”

Ino snorted as Shikamaru continued mumbling about troublesome women from his place beside Temari.  _ Such a crybaby. _

“That reminds me.” Ino clapped as though the information dancing at the tip of her tongue hadn’t been at the forefront of her mind since she arrived. “I have news.”

Temari cocked her eyebrow. There was something undeniably comforting about listening to her mundane musings about town gossip.

“Several things since I haven’t seen you in weeks.” Ino counted her fingers. “Did you hear Sasuke was back in town? He was here for all of three days and then suddenly I’m called to the Hokage’s office and handed a letter. He took Sakura. Sakura! Can you believe it? Either that or she followed him. So somewhere out there Forehead is enjoying one on one time with him. I can’t believe she won.” Ino trailed off. 

“I’m sure Sai will be thrilled that you're still obsessing over Sasuke.” 

“Shut it Shikamaru!” Ino jabbed her finger in his direction, before having the courtesy to look guilty. Temari bit her tongue to stop from snorting in a way that would almost certainly have her scorned by the kunoichi before her. Ino’s marriage to Sai had been a shock to her. Sai’s marriage to anyone would have shocked her in fairness. And yet, they’d wed not long after Konoha’s own golden couple.

“Moving on,” Ino gazed down at the pair of them. “The important bit, I came to give you both a heads up.”

Temari waved for her to continue, not interested in Ino’s need for dramatic pauses. She liked Ino but the pauses, those she did not like. 

“Choji’s secret girlfriend. It’s Karui.” Ino was practically bouncing as she relayed her knowledge. Temari looked back questioningly, she had no clue who Karui was. Had they met?

“The one that beat the shit out of Naruto?” Shikamaru questioned, perking up as the conversation turned to the romantic life of his best friend. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Ino bounced. “A scroll arrived this morning calling for an InoShikaCho clan meeting when he returns from Kumo next week. They just found out she’s pregnant and she’s returning with him.”

“Choji’s going to be a father?” Shikamaru’s voice was quiet. Temari glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Naruto and Hinata were near the end of her pregnancy, Ino and Sai had been trying for months and now Choji. 

“Really?”

“Really.” Ino nodded, her smile wide. “The scroll came addressed to both of us as clan heads.”

“Good for Choji.” Temari nodded, certain in her words. “He’ll be a kind father.”

“Hey Tem,” Shikamaru rubbed at the back of his neck and Temari immediately narrowed her eyes. “I’ve told you everything about the InoShikaCho clan agreement, right?”

***

  
  
  


_ Stupid pineapple headed moron. _

Temari pushed the doors to the Kazekage’s office open with a rattling bang. She held her head high and ignored the way Gaara’s guards flinched. 

“Do I still need to be patient?” Temari dropped her fan off her back and leant against it. 

“Yes.” Gaara glanced up from his paperwork briefly, flicking his eyes over his sister long enough to ensure she was unharmed. 

Temari yanked her fan back onto her back and turned to leave, to find a wall of sand between her and the door. She turned back to her youngest brother as he abandoned his work to meet her eyes. 

“Murdering the elders in a tantrum won’t help your case.” 

“It might.” Temari’s lips curled into a smug grin. There wouldn’t be anything to worry about if the elders couldn’t be found.

“What’s wrong?” Gaara fixed his hands together and maintained eye contact as he tilted his head. 

“I don’t like being told what to do.” Temari offered because it was simpler than going into everything. She hated being told what she could and couldn’t do by the elders who’d let her down her entire life. She hated being patient when all she wanted was in her reach. She hated not doing anything when all she wanted was to do. She hated the limbo of not knowing. 

_ And Shikamaru’s an idiot.  _ She added silently because her dear boyfriend had decided to wait until the worst possible moment to share his responsibilities as the Nara clan head. Not that she wasn’t on board. She’d known for some time she wanted to have a family with him and after the war, she was happy to pursue raising children in a time of peace. They’d discussed it briefly a few times. Of course, she didn’t think they’d be on a time limit. 

“This has been going on for too long Gaara, months even.” Temari bristled, fingers pointing accusingly. “I made up my mind long ago and I don’t plan on changing it.”

“Temari,” Gaara said, voice as steady and unwavering as always. “I give you my word.”

She opened her mouth to retort, a handful of expletives at the ready but stopped when Gaara raised his hand in surrender. 

“I have a mission for you. Four weeks in the Land of Keys, standard surveillance and recon. There have been reports of a growing weapons black market and city-wide unrest. Don’t interfere unless you have to, and when you return I’ll have the elders handled.” Gaara peered across the table. “And take Kankurou with you.”


	2. Chapter Two

They’d moved quickly and cleared the desert early, eager to get out of the drying heat of the sand and sun before they slowed to a more casual pace. It wasn’t often that they paired together for missions post war as Temari was usually too busy with the alliance and her ambassadorial responsibilities and Kankurou with his snot-nosed genin brats. That he was a genin instructor would never not be funny when she compared the soft man he was now to the edgy teen who hated children he had been a few years ago. 

“You ever been to the Land of Keys before?” Kankurou questioned as he kicked the dirt beneath his feet. 

They’d stopped by a fresh creek to refill their water after their journey through the desert. “None of us have.” 

“I think Baki has,” Kankurou said, scratching his head and screwing up his face in thought.

“Baki doesn’t count.” 

Temari turned her attention back to the clear stream and lowered her water pouch. The light splashes of water were a welcome relief after the heat of the morning sun. 

“Do you think this is even a real mission?” Kankurou tossed his own pouch in her direction, gesturing for her to fill it too.

Temari sighed and looked skyward. It was going to be one of those days. “As opposed to?”

“A way to get you out of Suna.” Kankurou shrugged, smiling to himself. “They asked for increased security before you returned from Konoha.”

Temari snorted at that. To think she’d put so much fear into a bunch of frail retired shinobi. “Like that’d stop me.”

“That’s what Gaara said to them.” He caught his water pouch as she tossed it back to him. “Half the old geezers probably pissed themselves when they heard that.”

She cocked her head to the side, the corner of her mouth twisting into a smirk. “Only half?” Kankurou sniggered as Temari returned to him. 

The journey ahead of them was unfamiliar, the roads and villages they knew rapidly giving way to the unknown. They were half a day’s journey from the Land of Key’s largest village when the landscape became filled with jutting rocks. It was cooler and darker than the desert, but every bit as unforgiving. 

They jumped forward and cleared another rocky outcrop, careless as they pushed forward. There was no use in hiding their presence in such an open and barren land. You could see bounds ahead, and the rocky outcrops served as small areas of cover. Truthfully, they were both a little too self assured and perpetually eager to throw their weight around on a battlefield. 

Light gleamed from ahead of them, small flickers as the sun caught onto something shiny ahead of them. Temari pushed off her feet off the ground, bounding over the rocks beneath their feet with ease. Her eyes fell on the source of the light, a group ahead of them and chains. Kankurou took a breath beside her, something between a curse and a guttural sound of excitement. 

Together they fastened as they bounded forward, neither bothering with disguising their pursuit. A series of shouts erupted from the group as they clued into their followers and slowed to a stop. Temari grinned. She hadn’t had a good fight in a while and she definitely had some tension to expel. 

Four men and a woman, she counted as they continued their approach. Another woman standing back, guarding the group of ragged kids forced together in chains. Six enemies. None of whom were wearing shinobi gear, and all brandishing crude weapons. 

Kankurou released his puppets as they reached the group. Temari watched a moment and waited as he herded the woman guarding the children into fighting him. 

Her fan felt like home in her hands as she pulled it from her back and aimed toward three of the men and the other woman. One had slipped aside to assist in the battle with Kankurou. Her arms and back burned as she drew her strength into a catastrophic blast of wind. Like glass, her wind cut through them, harsh and sharp. 

One remained standing as the wind eased, the others bloody and still on the earth. Temari raised her eyebrow in challenge at the lone man gripping tightly to the hatchet in his hands. The man hesitated before launching toward her, screaming for courage as he raced toward her death. Were all men idiots? Temari let him get close, closer than she would if she were fighting any other shinobi. But he was just a civilian mercenary, an idiot with a weapon. He sprinted toward her and she lifted her fan once more, cutting through him with ease. 

Kankurou was still fighting, or rather playing as he taunted the last woman. The other man dead beneath his feet. 

Temari sighed and lifted her fan onto her back as he continued to play with his puppets. She wandered over to the body nearest her. He’d been torn to pieces, bloody and cut by the sharpness of the wind. Heavy in her stomach, Temari swallowed in an attempt to clear the newly formed lump in her throat. She’d done a lot of killing in her life, and a lot more maiming. Gore shouldn’t bother her. It rarely did. Blood and death was life. Her eyes fell over the body at her feet, and she lurched forward. Her stomach emptied itself onto the dirt beside the boy she’d just killed. 

She wiped at her mouth and stood when her body stopped betraying her and cast one final look at the body before leaving it behind. 

Kankurou had finished toying with the woman and had presumably finished her by the time Temari returned to him. He spared her one concerned sideways glance before returning his attention to the kids, carefully working to unchain them. 

“Thirsty?” He asked as he handed over his water pouch. The kids, all four of them, shuffled anxiously before one finally nodded and desperately yanked for the pouch. “Hey, easy kid. Let’s make sure everyone gets their chance.”

Temari stood back. She’d never been great with children. “Who were they?” She nodded at the corpses.

“Don’t know,” A young boy with mousy hair and green eyes shrugged. “Said we’d make them some money.”

“Where are you all from?” Kankurou knelt beside the smallest of the children. “Where are your families?”

“Gone,” The boy spoke again. “We’re from the Land of Grass,” He pointed toward himself and two of the girls. He nodded toward the smallest of the kids, another young girl. “She came from the Land of Vegetables. They picked her up on the way.”

“Do you know where they were taking you?” Kankurou asked, voice gentle. 

When all four kids shook their heads he sighed. Temari watched them, all young and all very frightened. She wasn’t particularly great with children, but it didn’t mean she didn’t care. Unfortunately, there was no shortage of terrible people trying to make their money and find power in ruining the lives of those weaker. 

“Come.” Temari turned and began to walk away. Footsteps scampered behind her, and soon she was leading Kankurou and four children through a barren wasteland. 

***

Three days they’d have to babysit until a small group of Suna shinobi would arrive to escort the children to safety. Gaara would look after them, she had no doubt of that. 

She sat inside their room in the inn furthest from town and watched. Kankurou was in the village doing some light recon while he organised meals and he had left the children with her. Four children, civilians. She’d been raised on violence. Even as a child she’d barely spent time with kids, only to train. 

They were still nervous and frightened as they interacted with one another. They’d made a game out of things they could find in the inn. Chopsticks, cups and cloths. The resilience of children. 

Mika and Yuki, the two older girls, were playing quietly with the mousy haired boy, Haruki. The youngest of the children, a small girl with dark hair and purple eyes, sat alone. She had yet to speak, and Temari’s insides hurt thinking about the pain the little girl must know. 

She wasn’t good with kids, so she stayed back. 

Regardless of the InoShikaCho agreement, she’d always intended to have her own family. A family she’d been imagining Shikamaru’s role in for an embarrassingly long time. She’d yearned for a loving home all her life. And she’d been certain her children wouldn’t live in fear as she and her brothers had. She’d never let that happen. Not on purpose.

It was a nagging doubt she had whenever she needed to interact with children though. Was she capable? Would she be a good mother? How could she when she couldn’t find the words to talk to a child in need? Would she let her children down? Would she let Shikamaru down?

Would she die just like her own mother? 

Somewhere between the desert and the coldness of her childhood, had she been broken? 

Temari swallowed her fears and stood. All four children stopped to watch her, unnaturally alert to her movements. Fear. She usually got a certain joy out of seeing others fear her, especially those that initially didn’t. The sight of the four children frozen under her gaze bought her no joy. Even she wasn’t that cold. 

“Alright,” She muttered to herself, determined to overcome her hesitations. “How old are each of you?”

“Nine,” Said Yuki.

“Eleven.” Mika nodded.

“Eleven, too.” Haruki said from between the two girls.

Temari turned toward the youngest, the girl without a name, and raised her eyebrow, waiting. The girl looked up at her, still without a word, and raised her fingers. Six. Temari sucked in a breath and racked her brain for ideas to help her ease the children’s fears. Even just a little.

“Favourite colours?” Temari spoke, unsure. Bonding with children wasn’t a taught shinobi skill. 

“What’s yours?” Yuki asked lightly. 

“Purple.” 

“Hmmm,” She brought her finger to her lips in thought. “Pink.”

“Blue,” Mika nodded. “Like the sky.”

“A wise choice.” Temari smiled, images of clouds rolling across the beautiful blue sky flashing across her eyes. The picture of Shikamaru’s sheepish smile when he’d been caught napping left her smiling to herself. 

“Orange.” The boy said, confident in his words. 

“Orange huh?” Temari tried to hide her grimace. Naruto had ruined the colour for her. Temari nodded a smile, seeing the fraction of ease the children had showed, and smiled at the youngest of the children. “Do you have a favourite?” 

The girl didn’t speak but pointed to the red band Temari sported around her waist. Temari smiled at the girl as gently as she could. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

The children done with the conversation went back to playing, though the young girl without a name sat a little closer to Temari this time. 

She wasn’t good with kids, but she wasn’t completely horrendous. 

  
  


***

  
  


Temari grew used to the shuffle of small feet following her faster than she’d thought possible. The youngest, still silent and withdrawn followed behind her like a sweet little duckling. 

She cleaned her fan, and the girl was there. 

She brushed her hair, and the girl was there. 

She stalked outside to bask in the sunlight, and still the girl was there.

Kankurou fun and goofy as he was, made fast friends with the elder three. Face paints and puppet shows brought light to their eyes. They laughed, genuine and carefree. How had children who’d been stolen away and dragged across the continent laughed in a state of joy that her own childhood lacked? It was oddly comforting.

“Okay children,” Temari grinned all teeth as she addressed the five children -including her brother- and picked up her fan. “I’m heading into the village, behave.”

***

It was a village on the edge of destruction. Suna was ripe with poverty, particularly during her youth under her father’s harsh rule. It was strange to her that a little village on the edge of the sea would be so desolate. Children didn’t run along the streets playing. And the markets were much quieter than they should have been.

Temari strolled through the town and toward the seedier part of the village. The docks. There was no point in presenting herself as anything other than a dangerous woman as she inspected the area. She’d never enjoyed playing the damsel in distress. 

Two men eyed her from the door of a tall grey building bordering the docks. Both with well-used swords and postures far too casual. Obvious lookouts. 

Her eyes flicked around the immediate area, quickly scanning for any other threats before making her way toward them. Crates lined the area surrounding one of the larger of the docked ships. If Gaara’s early reports were accurate, they were likely full of weapons. The size of some of the crates concerned her, though. Especially stained as they were, reddish brown. 

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing down here all alone?” She fought to roll her eyes. Men.

“I might be looking for work.” She sneered. 

The two men looked her over, disgusting eyes tracing the length of her body in a way that had her hand yearning for the cool metal of a kunai. 

“Tora might find a use for you.” One man spoke, words dripping with intent. 

“If he finds need of a weapon,” Temari walked away, her face half turned to watch them as she retreated. “I’ll be around.”

She left the docks confident that Tora’s people would make contact. Eventually. Sooner rather than later would be preferable, so she could report back to Gaara and return to threatening her village elders. 

The too empty markets were still quiet as she walked back through, peering at the goods they had for sale. Less than a Suna market, which was a glaring red flag for a village with a port. 

Still, her hand reached for her coin purse. Stall owners were privy to all kinds of information. Especially when you emptied your pockets. Temari caught sight of a market stall, tables covered in colourful fabrics and soft looking blankets. 

Perhaps she’d buy a gift for Choji as congratulations. Shikamaru being the lazy man that he was would probably forget. Or mumble about what a drag it was. She wasn’t the kind of woman who’d sit around and indulge him in his pursuit to be the laziest shinobi of all time, but maybe, just once. 

Temari smiled at the elderly woman at the stall. She’d spill about the village’s business with a gentle prodding. And bonus, the blankets were gorgeous. Temari groaned, too much time around Ino. 


	3. Chapter Three

Equal parts relief and apprehension, Temari sighed as they met with Suna Shinobi not far out of town. She’d be glad to have the children out of the town. Her suspicions of the village had only grown during their short stay. Weapons weren’t the only thing Tora was dealing in. She was growing certain that people were being trafficked through the port. 

The village itself was in quiet unrest, people missing, afraid and hoping for change.

The children probably didn’t know how close they’d been to ending up dragged into the village and shipped off to whichever shitbag was in the market for slaves. She’d seen a handful of men and women pass through, chained and weary as they were loaded onto ships. It always angered her to let it go, but they had another three weeks to go and couldn’t blow their covers.

Temari peered down at the four young children, their eyes glancing nervously at the new shinobi. The youngest of the children, the little girl without a name, clung to the side of her skirt.

“They won’t hurt you.” 

“They’re just going to make sure you get back to our village safely,” Kankurou smiled at the children reassuringly, knees bent as he lowered himself to their heights. “Our little brother will be waiting, and he’s going to make sure you’re all looked after.”

The children still looked apprehensive, the three elder kids clinging to each other.

“And he’s not half as scary as he looks,” Kankurou added.

Anymore, Temari had to bite her tongue to stop herself from adding. 

“And then what?” Haruki asked rather pointedly for someone so young.

“Then you’ll go home.” Temari tried her best for a reassuring smile. The bewildered look Kankurou and the other Suna shinobi gave her made it clear she hadn’t quite pulled it off. Temari straightened her face and pointedly avoided their gazes. “Wherever you decide home will be.”

“We’ll try.” Temari could see Kankurou’s pointed look from the tone of his voice alone. 

“I don’t want to go,” Mika whispered. 

“It’s not safe here.”

“Look kids, this isn’t the type of village you want to be hanging around in. We don’t even want to be here.” He knelt and lowered his voice. “So, if you go with our friends here, we promise we won’t be far behind. A couple weeks and we’ll see each other again.”

The children made a chorus of huffs and nodded along. “Fine.” Mika groaned.

“I don’t like it.” Haruki turned his nose up, his arms crossed against his chest. The corner of Temari’s mouth twitched in amusement. “But I’ll go.”

“Thanks kid.” 

Temari glanced down at the still mute and nameless girl clutching at her. The girl peered up at her, knuckles still fisted in the fabric of Temari’s skirt. She shook her head defiantly. Temari’s heart sank. She’d never had a child grow attached to her, even when they were young there was always a certain distance between them. A lump formed in her throat, strange and foreign. It hurt. Every instinct in Temari’s body told her to run from these kinds of situations, to sneer and maintain indifference. She worked hard to keep her distance, and she could say with confidence that she could count on one hand the people she’d truly let close. Three. 

But kids, kids didn’t deserve to be cast away. It broke them, and that was something she knew all too well. 

She smiled, again in an attempt to appear gentle and reached for a kunai. She laced one arm behind her back, pulling the band at her waist tight, and sliced through the excess length with ease. 

Temari dropped to her knee and threaded the red piece of fabric through her hair, complete with a less than perfect bow to keep it from falling. It looked a little odd, and she briefly considered sliding it across so the bow was hidden but the girl was beaming at her and that was enough. 

“You know, I like red too.” Yuki smiled with all the subtlety of a kunai to the face.

Her red waistband wound up in pieces, a little for each of the children. Temari smiled and eyed the Suna shinobi firmly, lest they get any ideas about her softness. She didn’t need her reputation ruined. 

She watched the children leave and followed them out of the village for a short while. Just to make sure they hadn’t been pursued. 

Just until she knew they were safe.

***

Without the children to care for, Temari and Kankurou could properly get to work flushing out the villages seedy underbelly. The prospect of getting her hands dirty and unleashing everything on some scummy bastards making their money off of slaves and illegal weapon trade was something she very much looked forward to.

She didn’t anticipate the way she’d almost, kind of, miss the children. Or the way she’d keep glancing over her shoulder, expecting one of them to be following her like a little duckling. Mostly she didn’t expect to want to check up on them already, just to know they were okay. 

Of course, they would be. She trusted Suna shinobi, and she definitely trusted Gaara. He’d do right by the kids. He’d do anything to make sure children didn’t live the lives they had. Gaara would ensure we protected them, that they had a home. And Kankurou, when they returned, she was sure he’d make sure they were happy. That they had something to smile and laugh about. 

She struggled with how she’d better the future and the future generation. Even at a personal level, she still had her doubts about becoming a mother. She wanted to, but could she really? She wasn’t all that gentle, or all that kind. Nobody had ever called her maternal or good with children, and until now she’d made more children cry than smile. Still, part of her yearned for a child, half her and half Shikamaru. And even the nightmares of her living out her mother’s last moments couldn’t squash her desire. 

And on a broader scale, what could she really do? She was a shinobi, a weapon of her village, and she was an ambassador. Inter-village communication was important for peace. That would help the next generation, hopefully.

“Do you think any of them would prefer Konoha?” 

“What?” Kankurou grunted and glanced up from his puppet. He had an array of wires, blades and tools strewn across the floor.

“The children.” Temari brushed her hands down her skirt as she stood. “If they can’t go home, the desert isn’t for everyone. Do you think they’d like the option of settling in Konoha?”

“You don’t need to find excuses to talk to Shikamaru anymore,” Kankurou said, hands hidden inside the puppet. “And it’s not your place to offer. You’re not a Konoha citizen yet.”

“No, but I’m an ambassador. I can encourage it.” Temari turned her back to her brother. “I can try.”

“I hope this encouragement is words with the Hokage and not activities with your boy toy.” Temari held her breath for a moment and slowly exhaled, hands balled into fists as she tried not to react. Occasionally, she overreacted. Especially to her brother’s comments about her personal life.

“Kankurou,” She said, voice deceptively calm. “You’ve got three seconds.”

“Three seconds?” He questioned. “What’s that supposed to-”

Temari turned, and Kankurou was gone. 

Maybe she’d write a letter.

  
  


***

  
  


Shikamaru dragged himself to the Hokage’s office. His stomach groaned as he made his way over, he’d just been about to sit down for a late lunch when Lord Sixth had called for him. 

Kakashi was sitting at his desk when Shikamaru opened the door, with his face resting propped in one of his hands, eyes smiling in a way that always made Shikamaru nervous. It was quite often met with Gai or one of Kakashi’s former students causing havoc with the Hokage. With Sasuke and Sakura gone, Gai on a mission, and Naruto nowhere to be seen, Shikamaru was suspicious. 

“Good evening,” Lord Hokage gleamed, “Crybaby.”

Ah. Temari. Shikamaru glanced about briefly, like an idiot, wondering if she’d somehow made it back just to torment him. It was then that Shikamaru’s eyes settled on the scroll resting in Kakashi’s hand.

“That for me?” Shikamaru asked, careful not to give the Hokage any ammunition. He was bored, and he was playing with him. 

“No, no.” Kakashi waved his hand and tossed the scroll toward him. Temari’s handwriting was obvious, sharp and perfect. “Just a request from your favourite ambassador, for some poor orphans. Addressed to me, all business.” 

Shikamaru’s eyes traced over the document, confirming Kakashi’s words. He glanced up at the Hokage, eyes narrowing briefly because Kakashi was still watching him with that unnatural grin. 

“You can tell her yes,” Kakashi said. “I’m sure she’d much rather a reply from you. And send one straight to Gaara, too.”

“Is that all?” Shikamaru asked. He knew in his gut it wasn’t, because Kakashi looked alive and not like he’d fall through his chair out of boredom. 

“There was one other thing.” Lord Sixth reached under his desk and set a parcel down in front of him. “This one was addressed for you.”

Shikamaru approached the parcel as though it might be a paper bomb. He didn’t like the way he was being watched. 

The parcel was addressed to him, Nara Shikamaru, with ‘personal’ stamped below it in her sharp handwriting. Personal was underlined rather aggressively, three times. ‘Not village business’ was also stamped on the small package. They tore into the package. That was clear the moment he cast his eyes on it. 

He glanced up, one raised eyebrow directed at the Hokage. 

Kakashi shrugged and grinned, not bothering to even attempt looking guilty. “A package from another villages shinobi, it could have been a matter of security. And to someone as important as you, well, you know how it is.”

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes again. “Temari won’t be happy, and well, you know how she is.” He shrugged, taking the parcel into his hand. “It’d be a drag stopping her. Might be easier just to wish you well in the afterlife.”

Recognising the brief flash of panic in Kakashi’s widened eyes, he smirked as he opened the parcel. She’d be pleased to know the fear she could induce in a Kage from the other side of the continent. A note laid on top of something red and soft. A blanket.

_Hey Crybaby,_

_The blankets for Choji, from us, congratulate him properly. You’re not too busy or lazy to be a good friend._

_I have a lot of fears and doubts about us starting our own family. Sometimes it’s hard to say in words, so I’ll say it now. I’m afraid of dying, like Mum. I’m afraid I won’t be good enough, like Dad. I’m afraid I’ll let our children and you down. I’m afraid I’ll be a failure as a mother. And then, I think of you, and I’m a little less scared. A little more excited._

_I’m not sure I’ll ever not be afraid, but with you, I think I can do it. Sounds like shit, but I think I can do anything, as long as you’re there with me._

_There are a lot of things I’m looking forward to doing with you when I return. Getting married no matter what the council says, beginning our future, starting a family, other things… Especially if you get those requests passed for me._

_But really, I miss you._

_Love, Temari_

Shikamaru smiled to himself, the faintest of pink dusting his cheeks. There were a lot of special things about Temari, strength, wit, beauty, the aggressive way she showed she cared. But the glimpses of gentleness were his favourite. Most people didn’t see it, and for that, he was all the more grateful. 

Temari was a whirlwind, but sometimes she wasn’t.


End file.
